God never ceases to amaze me… I mean really. He’s always bringing blessings into my life… but at the same time, he hits me with challenges and situations that I just have NO idea what He’s trying to teach me.
Some of you already know about the amazing kiss from a few weeks ago. This kiss was from a MAN…not a boy… but a MAN!!! 
Sophisticated, successful, handsome, smart…. I could go on…. and the kiss was sweet, tender, slow…. perfect…. and it reminded me why I prefer men with some some age on them… Plus… I’ve had a crush on this man for about 12 years… Well, the following Monday, he let me down easy… which I kind of expected. He revealed to me that he wasn’t divorced, like I thought he was. He was only separated and needed time to get over it and he didn’t want to drag me into the drama. So… it was a great kiss from an emotionally unavailable man… but at least he had enough respect for me to be upfront from the beginning. A lesser man would’ve taken me for a ride, that I’ve been on before…. and just left me there. So, for that I’m thankful…
Then there’s guy # 2…. this one’s a musician who plays at my mother’s church. My son has been mesmerized by his playing for about a year now. This guy hit my MySpace, just because he saw me on another friend’s myspace, read my blogs, and decided he’d like to be my friend. Simple enough…. except this one is also separated, but only for 7 months. He’s only looking for friendship… which I’m pretty good at. I have a knack for making potential suitors into brothers… my mom calls it a defense mechanism… I call it self-preservation… He and I have hung out a little, in groups, but not together… just the group… and its nice… but again… an emotionally unavailable man…
then there’s guy #3. believe it or not, this is a guy I made out with a couple of times in high school… talk about your trips down memory lane. He lives in Washington State, where I’m from. I try not to give this one much thought because, let’s face it… I’m not moving there and he’s not moving here…. so this is a logistically unavailable man.
So… I have to ask God… why? Lord, why have you provided me with men who are separated and not divorced? Not only that… I was pretty content not looking for anyone…and now it feels like God has dropped these men in my lap…. I don’t know… maybe by the time Aaron’s gone, one of them will be emotionally available….
I sit and wait, because I know God has a plan and I know its perfect. He just baffles me sometimes…
